Tips for every single male trying online dating

Get it together, people. You want to snag a good girl, right? Tips:

1) We know you "like sometimes going out but also enjoy quiet evenings at home." Tell me one person who this does NOT describe.

2) You are not a gentlemen. You are one person.

3) If your profile picture resembles a mugshot - or IS a mugshot - we will not email you back.

4) If there is no way to get a picture of you without showing both the camera AND the mirror, reconsider trying to get a girlfriend and instead try to make just one friend. Just one is all it takes for this picture thing.

5) My specified age range is for your actual age, not the age you "feel like in your heart."

6) If you are only "currently separated" and "have 3+ kids who live at home," I'm pretty much going to need your soon-to-be-ex-wife to meet me in person and promise me your marriage is actually over before I agree to meet you.

7) Proofread.