Plenty of fish in the sea? Not in my sea!!

Okay, let's talk for a minute about how the internet is ruining my life.

Remember in high school when traditional stalking came close to ruining my life because all the hot guys we stalked eventually seemed to pick up on it? (Let's face it, some of us were extremely close to getting restraining orders in 10th grade.) Well, take that near-ruination and multiply it by, say, 300, and you have my dilemma with the internet.

The following sites are ruining my life: myspace, facebook, theknot, roanoke.com, UVa's alumni network page, and every search engine that exists. I seem to have an addiction to torturing myself by looking up old flames or random people every now and then (this addiction gets exponentially worse depending on if I am in a bad mood to start with). Do I ever find out that an ex-boyfriend is making an e-shrine to me and updating it daily with poems written in my honor? No. Instead, every single guy I've ever kissed (again, perhaps an exaggeration, but only slight) is married with a hot wife, cute baby, and freaking white picket fence. Another one bit the dust today. I thought we had something special, guy I wooed at a bar! What the hell? And you people, you frat boys. Didn't it mean anything to you when we made out in the DJ closet at the luau mixer? And you, guy whose last name I can't remember but who I planned to have children with. Why must you be so web-accessible now that you are living the high life and have no need for my life-changing nights of seduction?

Damn you all. And especially you, Al Gore.