Doin' a double double-take

From the "what the...?" category:

1) I just did an Old Navy survey online... you know, one of those things they give you after a purchase to get a discount the next time you shop there. It asked for my bra size. Um, what? It's not Victoria's Secret! Plus, there was no "prefer not to answer" option. So I'm not going to lie, I lied. Hello, I have stalkers. Ok not really but I might one day.

2) Today I attempted to organize the big storage room at our downtown office. Apparently, we at the Assisting Families of Inmates organization have a game called "The Perfect Murder." Anyone else see a problem with this?

Plenty of fish in the sea

Okay, so I'm no dating expert... but really? Drew Peterson is engaged a 5th time? And to a 23-year-old, no less. I can't think of an appropriate proverb to quote here, so I'll make one up: "You're better off alone than missing or murdered."

Let me see that tootsie roll!

You're welcome for me getting that flashback song in your head.

So this weekend I discovered via Katie Lucas that one can actually catch a buzz from drinking tootsie rolls. Okay, well not really melted tootsie rolls (take your hand off the microwave, eager alcoholic readers), but a wonderful concoction of cherry 7-up, vodka, and creme de cacao that tastes like tootsie rolls with a hint of cherry. Um, yum!! Wonderful evening of festivity, friends, and the enjoyment of NOT being the drunkest person in the room falling off chairs and/or mooning people from the porch. Gotta share the spotlight when the time is right.

10 days til Christmas and you can't tell it from our house, except for the cute row of Christmas cards we're getting each day. Hopefully I will get to mine tonight or tomorrow. I don't even have stamps yet! Sheesh!! All this Kwanzaa has messed with my timeline. Speaking of which, almost time for another group. Yay for giving my kids candy and sending them back to class!

I meant "I lift 5 pound weights once every 3 months"

Sometimes I really think my life is a comedy of errors. Last night at the grocery store, the bagboy was amazed that I didn't have a cart to carry my stuff to the car. "Don't worry," I told him. "I have guns." Um, yeah... not a good idea to tell someone next to a cash register that you have guns. Sigh... live and learn.

Plus and Minus

I got a letter from jail this morning from one of my students' fathers. It was pretty awesome and made me tear up, thanking me for helping his son out... but even better than that, admitting how sorry he was for not being there for his son and taking responsibility for acting better upon his release. Seriously great pick-me-up for 8:30 in the morning heading in to my busiest day of the week!

And then a kid asked if I was pregnant.

Did you hear that? That was my ego balloon deflating. Ah, how quickly the tides turn.

Things I Have Been Called Today

Things I have been called today besides Ms. Laura and Ms. Laurence, which are just plain annoying:

- a monkey
- a dog
- an alligator
- a tiger
- a crocodile
- a Christmas tree
- a bookbag
- a piece of pizza

Ah, Kindergarten groups are just my favorite. At least "crocodile" was what one student was saying... for a while I thought it was "cracker-" something, which was not going to fly.

*Sniff*

I just got a little bit sad when I realized that Dwight K. Schrutte does not exist in real life.