Jobs - something you and I have in common

Well, not really in common; I am looking for one and you (presumably) already have one. But we're both probably thinking the same thing right now, shortly after lunch time on a Monday afternoon, which is that we don't really want one. I was going to go hang out with my sister and clan today, but she'll make me feel guilty if I haven't applied to another job yet so that is what I'm doing online. Can't you tell? Blogging is a legitimate job-search break. I mean, I have to entertain the masses.

Yesterday I went to church. Technically, I went to two churches. One was ending as I got there. D'oh! But I did meet some nice people there. Then, since it was 11:04 and there was only one church with an 11:00 service within sight, I went to a Baptist church. It was a Free Will Baptist church, which I thought was just the name of it until my mom (who grew up Baptist) informed me that that is a type of Baptist. Um, yeah... not my type, for sure. I resolved to not make fun of it on my blog because that's just not nice, but suffice it to say that the old man who hugged me twice and gave me candy was not the creepiest part of the hour and forty minute service. Yes, one hour and forty minutes. So, the church hunt will resume in two weeks, since I'll be out of town this coming weekend. It's on!

Happy weekend, y'all!

I am prepared to have a fabulous, relaxing weekend. I hope you are doing the same. Had some plans to go to the Richmond Braves game tonight, but seeing as how there's a severe thunderstorm watch here until 8 pm, I'm thinking that will not happen. I consumed enough alcohol last weekend to keep me drunk for the next 3 months, so I'm good on that front. I'll probably do some nesting... get pictures on the walls and that kind of jazz. Last night I went down to my brother's bar for dinner and drinks. It was all fun and games until we saw one of my brother's oldest friends (by that I mean he's been on all our family vacations, not that he is a lot older than Blake) and my friends (yes, I have 2) asked if I maybe wanted to date him. I threw up in my mouth a little.

On the job front, I got offered a job today! - in Durham. D'oh! Glad to know God is listening to my prayers, but unfortunate that I apparently petitioned Him on that one in my still-broken Spanish, resulting in a bit of a miscommunication. Still working on finding one here in the R-I-C.

These fumes are my muse

We're getting our carpets cleaned, and the fumes have inspired me to blog. I'm psyched to have clean carpets since a dog lived here before me, but I am not psyched about the smell or figuring out how we're going to get to the front door to go to Carytown when the dude is finished.

Today has been nice and relaxing, as was last night. I'm catching up on sleep and getting lots of niece time. Meredith brought Emily over today while she went to a hair appointment, and Chrissy and I just watched her sleep for a while. She's so cute! Libby is back to being obsessed with me, a phase that took a brief respite when my mom kept coming to town. I'm pleased with this progression... or maybe it's a regression... maybe that should be deemed just a "gression."

The Wise Blonde's new inflatable backyard swimming pool for the kiddies - a 6 foot by 4 foot ish thing - inspired us to purchase one for our own backyard. I haven't ventured into it yet, but it's pretty sweet. $30 at Walmart will buy you one of these fabulous "family swim centers," and I highly recommend it. Job what??

Pop quiz

Here's your quiz:
Which of the following activities did I NOT take part in this weekend?

- Sweating out approximately the same ginormous amount of alcohol I imbibed, which might be a modern miracle of science... gotta love the Texas heat, my liver, and my sweat glands

- Discovering liquors I never knew existed (and by "discovering," I mean "taking excessive amounts of shots of in the presence of my mother")

- Testing for fecal matter in an aquifer

- Shooting a gun

- Stopping an anonymous relative from sleeping with a 55 year old married woman... in my hotel room, no less

- Bruising my kneecap and wrist in a true-to-form drunken fall

- Propositioning an attractive, young, available guy

- Eating sushi and shellfish by choice and not accident (only mentionable due to my seafood allergy)

- Becoming an honorary Peace Corps member, albeit in an altogether dishonorable fashion

- Taking drunken photo booth shots in Brady Bunch style with 90% of my family and 10% strangers who might later be voted in


What's your vote? I'm telling you... it's a tricky one. You think you know, but you don't.

I'm alive

Hola, como estas? I'm alive. Following this weekend's activities, that is the answer to a reasonable question that may be being asked of you at this time. I will blog later about the wedding. For now: I'm alive.

p.s. Katie L., your house possibility looks awesome! Katie S., send me pictures of yours because I ran out of time to go by it. Any other Katie readers, please refrain from buying a house in the near future... I'm starting to feel like a renting slacker.

Ingenious plan to defeat the heat

I sweat more than any other person I know. I loooooooooved the Boston cold and haaaaaaaaaaaaate the Richmond heat. However, I knew what I was signing up for when I decided to move here, so I can't really complain. But I've figured out a way to relish Richmond's 95 degree temps: go to Texas for 4 days! Tomorrow I head to Austin for my stepsister's wedding, which is Saturday. Should be lots of sweaty fun. My brother and I are flying together and meeting my mom and stepdad there, then having them foot the bill for as much of our debauchery as possible. It's family bonding, right? That should be a tax write-off of some sort. Miss me.

Am I confusing your sense of place?

It's a bit strange to call this "theburgblog" now that I have officially moved to Richmond. But "themondblog" just doesn't have the same ring, does it? Any ideas? I suppose it doesn't matter, especially if I continue slacking on blogging.

Our house is a bit torn apart, but overall I am impressed with how much arranging and unpacking has been done since I got here Saturday night. However, I am either having an allergy to Richmond or I've come down with a summer cold (is that even possible?). Must recover before this weekend's wedding showdown in Texas!

Higher Learning

So I went back to Charlottesville last weekend for the debauchery part of our 5-year reunion. As always, my beer gut was not the only thing enhanced by a night at UVa. True to Wahoo form, I was most enlightened by the graffiti on a bar bathroom wall: "Don't bullshit yourself about anything." Taking that gem with me to Richmond... gotta live and learn.

Did you know 50 Cent has been shot 9 times?

Just learned that from a lil show I like to call "Beauty and the Geek" (ok, everyone calls it that). Such is my life right now: sitting on the couch watching episodes of reality shows that I have, in fact, already seen. I'm hanging out in Roanoke for a couple of days... got to see my brother, and my sister and the little ladies are here, too.

I turned on the computer to look for jobs. You can see how well that's going...

A Letter to the Day I Thought I Would Die

Dear Day I Thought I Would Die,

I miss you. I never thought I would say that, but I do. During your 24 hours, I thought I would die of cold. Living in Boston, I had gotten used to cold temperatures and even welcomed them, since I am so hot-natured. Sure, it was a pain to layer two pairs of pants over long johns, two shirts under a sweater, under a fleece, under a jacket... but it was all worth it. On you, sucky day, I remember running into the Davis T station on my way home from work to try to find a little warmth between the walls. I remember calling my sister and starting to cry, telling her that the unthinkable had happened: I was TOO cold. I really thought I might die! There was no physical way to add more layers to my attempt at clothing myself into a winter-weather shield.

Today, this 6th day of June here in Virginia where the heat index hovers around 100 and the humidity is at 312%, I miss you, sucky cold day.

Now, I must go outside. I hope this is not my last post before being jailed for indecent exposure due to lack of other options to stop sweating.

Adios,
Your Sweaty Friend, Lauren

Thank you, merci, gracias

I am indebted to pretty much every person in my life right now after the last 4 days of packing and moving. So, thanks. As Steve Carrell would say, "Put it on my tab."

I am exhausted. Tell me why I am staying up to watch the Real World when a RW marathon is on MTV pretty much every day.

What I want to know is...

... how am I supposed to stay motivated to pack up my crap when "Fifteen and Pregnant" is on Lifetime again? I have only seen it twice.

It's on!

I officially have NKOTB tickets, suckas!

Before I lived in Falwell-land, I was well behaved

Well, not really. But I would never have considered doing certain things that have, most recently, started sounding like a great idea. I'm not sure what to say about this weekend besides that it kicked ass. Perhaps I will just answer a few unresolved questions.

1) Yes, my pants are now dry and all articles of clothing/accessories have been located.
2) No, the police did not arrive, despite the beeping alarm that did not respond to the only code I know, a dumpster house code for apartments in a different complex (for some reason, I really thought this code would work).
3) No, I do not yet have my wallet back or my camera (do not expect any of the pictures taken to become publicly displayed). However, the return is hopefully in process.
4) No, I don't regret that Saturday night phone call; and, yes, I will accept your hero nominations, ladies.

I apologize to those of you who have no idea what this blog means - not just because you are missing a Monday morning blog fix, but because you missed a couple classic nights of Lynchburg partying. Sign yourself up to come visit with me!