Speaker shenanigans

I thought the funniest thing that would happen today would be my debut at my school's staff meeting. (While I work for a nonprofit servicing several schools, my office is in one particular school where I will have the most cases.) Wanting to introduce myself in true form, I said my name and then answered the requisite question, "How long have you been teaching?" When I responded "35 years," the room went dead silent. I heard a couple people whisper "Wow" before saying, "Um, that was a joke." Just like to start things off on the right foot... wouldn't want people thinking I was all serious and stuff. The meeting, while waaaaaaaay too long, was actually great; lots of funny teachers and catered lunch - yummy!

Anyway, I was totally upstaged once back in my office. First of all, I almost had an out-of-body experience because they kept turning the intercom system on and off, making me jump about 3 inches out of my chair each time.

But then... ah, then... they paged someone on the intercom and forgot to turn it off. Holy SH*T it was hilarious! These women do not play around. They started talking about so-and-so needing to get her letters up there and how they were not going to wait around. Of course, the whole school staff is listening. Finally, after maybe 2 minutes, we heard the other teacher call up to the office and say, "You know I can hear you, right?" with all KINDS of attitude. Sadly, they cut off the intercom at that point, so I missed whatever verbal beatdown occurred.

Note to self: must stay on good side of people in control of the intercom.

New obsession

Olympic men's volleyball team coach, Hugh McCutcheon. Cutest man EVER! I just want to hug him. No really-- that's all.

Been there, done that

Ever seen "Under the Tuscan Sun"? Relatively fascinating concept, relatively lame reality. Anyway, here's our peanut-gallery conversation while watching it:

BFF: "Maybe we should try that."
Me: "What?"
BFF: "Picking up random guys on the street and then making out with them."
Me: "Um... I think I already tried that."

Ah, college. I still laugh when Facebook keeps trying to reconnect me with one "person I might know" in particular.

I'm famous!

Just when you thought I was only famous for knowing somebody who knows somebody who knows Elliott Yamin (haha), a much more immediate family member keeps being mentioned on tv! We're watching "Murder, She Wrote," and the main character in this episode is named Charlie Holcomb! That was not only my dad's name, but also my granddaddy's. I had no idea they were immortalized with Angela Lansbury. Better watch the end to see if he's innocent.

"I'll Wait for You"... but not past 11

No Elliott sightings yesterday. I went to a high school reunion that was not only for a class 6 years before mine, but also not for my school. It was my brother-in-law's reunion here in Richmond, so I mostly went to hang out with my sis. It was great trying to convince people that I had typing class with them. And by "great," I mean "successful." All you need is one teacher's name, and you're golden for that game. Ah, good ol' Miss Berryhill.

Unfortunately, there was approximately one single guy there, and he was preoccupied with a beautiful lady already. Elliott's former roommate, one of Gregg's friends, was there and said Elliott was planning to come out later (it was at a bar, not a high school or anything creepy like that), but my early drinking start at the pre-reunion cookout pretty much cashed me out by 11. Turns out he didn't come anyway. I mean, really... too cool??

For you Redskins fans, though - I know I have at least 3 of you in my blog grasps - I did spend some QT with Shawn Barber. He hasn't been on the team since 2002 or something like that, but if you're diehard you would know him anyway. Seems like a nice guy. Who knew Gregg knew cool people besides me and The Wise Blonde?

There hasn't been a Hoover in the White House since...

... I can't remember the end of that Golden Girls joke. Sorry.

Went to visit some of my kids at camp yesterday. I think my favorite part was during their music lesson, when one kid busted out singing "freecreditreport.com" and dancing around. It wasn't quite fitting with the other God songs, but he was quite joyful, which I'm sure God enjoyed.

The excitement of today has been me disassembling my vacuum cleaner after having a blind man "take a look at it" to see if it is fixable. He kept saying things like that: "Let me see"... "Let's just have a look"... "I don't see the problem." Um, you're blind. He was sweet as can be, though, and the next time I have a vacuum problem and live within a mile of his store, I will be returning for his excellent customer service. Of course, that is not highly likely, as I was unable to fix it myself and decided to just buy a new one instead of paying to have the old one fixed; so if that one breaks down while I still live in this house, I will probably give up vacuuming forever.

Tomorrow there is a 1 in 1,000 chance that I will meet Elliott Yamin at none other than my sister's house. Should this happen, I will blog. How 'bout THEM odds.

Forget QVC...

... I want what I'm seeing on Jon & Kate Plus 8! What is this monkey munch, and how can I get some?

On a side note, I ran into a column in my parking garage today. Don't worry, only my new boss was right behind me watching me. D'oh!

Mmmm... smog!

Unexpectedly, I am loving my morning commute. Granted, it has only been four days, and on none of them have I been running late to the point where I get stressed out that I might be late to work. But it's just super fun!

Keep in mind that pretty much the only things that could slow me down on my last two years of commuting were cows and tractors. Prior to that, in Boston, I walked or rode the bus to work. So I haven't driven to work on an interstate in about... forever.

What is not fun about this? Oh right, gas prices, unexpected traffic jams, and morning radio (I mean really, can't they just play music?). But isn't it fun to be in the rush of people all heading to "do their thing" for the day? It's so... grown-up. Then I park in my big old parking garage, where I know the names of the attendants already and they are my new best friends (sorry Chrissy, but you've been out of town for too long). What do you think? Can't you feel the looooooove tonight?

Or maybe I need to get out more.

Another game for you!

Since the last one stumped all of you that I talked to, here's another "which of these did NOT happen today?" quiz (and, yes, again it is only one, believe it or not):

- I met two of my kiddies for the year (and they are fah-reaking adorable).

- I got lost in the ghetto of Richmond.

- I was forced to play a drum in front of people I just met. Note that I do not know how to play drums.

- I wore a white shirt through drinking coffee, two bouts of painting, three meals, and niece-holding without getting anything on it. (This will be more amazing to those of you who have lived with me in the past.)

- I saw a mouse in my office.

As an addendum, I will now go back and post the answer to the last one, if I can find that post.

As a second addendum, An I still can't see how to do an RSS feed on here. Get your think tank working on THAT shit.

I am gainfully employed... or at least employed

I have once again accepted a job that does not pay very much. It's like I don't quite get the meaning of "working for a living." BUT I am super excited about it and think it's going to be awesome! It's as a Program Coordinator for Assisting Families of Inmates (www.afoi.org). So I will be in four elementary schools leading support groups for kids of incarcerated parents. I'm so excited! What an adventure this will be.

In summary: you are not about to start getting more expensive birthday presents from me, but you are going to have some happier, more confident, and better behaved kiddies in your state capital. :)