Knee-slapping laughter

I don't think I have ever in my life laughed as hard at something in a movie as something that happens in real life. I love funny movies, and definitely every now and then I let out a little giggle or at least break into a big grin. But seriously, at the past three movies I've been to - the Trifecta ending with "Grown Ups" tonight - moviegoers around me have been like peeing their pants around me. It kind of makes me feel like I have a bad sense of humor; but can that be true?? It's not that I don't "get" the jokes, because I do; and some are even really funny. I guess no matter how wrapped up in a movie I get, I am still fully aware that I am sitting in a public movie theater. Honestly, tonight I had to turn to a friend and ask if I was missing something. The movie was funny! Maybe just rental-worthy as opposed to theater-worthy, but still amusing. Nevertheless, I just do not see why scenes that were on previews (like grown men peeing in a pool that then turns blue) cause people to freak out whooping and slapping their knees. Was it only my TV that that preview aired on 300 times a day? And then there are the predictable funny scenes, like when a guy ziplines into the wall of a shack. How is it possible that out of 100 people in the theater, only myself and my 2 friends saw that coming? It's not; these people just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened *even though* they knew it was about to happen.

I don't know. I can't say it really bothers me a lot to hear other people have a good time at the movies. I can always still hear what's going on, and while at one point tonight I thought I might get wacked in the head with the guy behind me's ... hmm... "3rd leg"?... while he discussed loudly and repeatedly how hot he thought one of the actresses was, other than that the hooting and guffawing is only mildly distracting. Truthfully, at times people in the audience doing this have amused me more than the movies themselves! I guess it just makes me wonder if there is something wrong with my sense of humor. Do I have to make a show of how funny I think a movie is, or can I just watch the show?

Facebook Fetus

Just when I thought Facebook couldn't get creepier (although, yes, as a natural-born-stalker I am admittedly and unquestionably addicted to it), today the line was crossed by leaps and bounds. I just saw a FB page for a fetus. Not kidding! I'm not talking about one of my friends' pages *mentioning* an upcoming birth or posting a picture of a sonogram to announce that they are expecting, because that is pretty much an every day occurrence for a 29 year old on FB (and always exciting to see!). I'm talking about the fetus itself having a FB page. How it is doing these updates is beyond me. But I guess the parents are glad to see it speaks English, because otherwise wouldn't that just be awkward?

Anyway, like not being able to turn away from the sight of a car accident, I clicked on its profile photos. Sure enough, it was a sonogram picture. Ok, not that bad, right? How about this: next to the sonogram was a detailed textbook picture of female anatomy with where the fetus is currently positioned. As in, literally scanned from a textbook. All parts labeled. Again, not kidding. Last but not least, let me answer what I'm sure you are wondering: what is this technologically savvy fetus thinking? Have no fear... it makes frequent status updates. You know how some parents speak for their babies before they can talk, and it gets kind of creepy sometimes? Like the baby screws up its face and the mom says in a squeaky little baby voice, "Aw, I'm trying to squeeze out a big poopie because mommy ate Mexican food for dinner, yes she did!" and everyone around is like, "Awww" when really all the non-parents are thinking, "Does she know she is saying "poopie" out loud in a baby voice?" The fetus status updates are kind of like that, but in black and white and taking up valuable bandwidth.

I need to stop thinking about this; I'm going to have nightmares.

p.s. Dear friends who have kids: thank you for not making FB pages for your kids in-utero.

Yard Sale-ing

Yesterday's morning summary:
3 miles walked.
11 yard sales hit.
100 degrees.
0 purchases.

Today's morning summary:
3 miles driven.
1 church service attended.
1 great hall table/desk on curb purchased for $10.

The Lord works in mysterious ways!

p.s. I have not yet discovered why He feels the need to make 100+ degree days, though. Currently dripping sweat from hair. In A/C. Uncool. Pun intended.

Towels. (Really.)

I just got incredibly sad because my Google search for my favorite brand of towel (Seduction) and - at its fail - then for my second-favorite brand (Walmart's HomeTrends Select) demonstrated that the world would like me to stop bathing. Or at least that the world would like for my bathing process to involve less luxury. Sigh. I will continue my search for unreasonably plush towels!

Anyway, getting ridiculously sad about this for 3 minutes reminded me that, if that is my biggest issue tonight*, my life is pretty good.

*Unemployment, boiling heat outside, and general male douchebaggery don't count because they are not on my mind. Well, not while bathing. Well, not while bathing tonight.

I'm alive!

I just looked up my blog address to give D'Lynn because she emailed me that she lost it when her computer crashed. Then I got sad because my last blog was from January and it is now June. How did this happen, when blog-writing is such a great procrastination tool, and I am SO into procrastination these days? So, I'm back. Now to find blog inspiration.